Eastside Hippie

May I please bring to your attention the fact that 90 minutes ago I consumed stir fry and rice? I present the evidence, clearly visible to my right: a bowl, spoon, and napkin with traces of said food on them. I can still taste the soy sauce on my tongue.

Wait, even confronted with the evidence, you still insist that you are hungry? Well, I am sorry dear stomach…I have nothing left to feed you. See, we are still in the midst of the Hunger Challenge, which means we eat what we tell you to eat, and nothing more. No, we can’t go over and purchase a muffin. No, no bag of chips. No, we cannot grab a motherf**king Snickers bar. Tongue doesn’t like Snickers bars, remember? It says they taste chalky and you always complain after that it wasn’t satisfying.

OK let’s make a deal. I’ll refill the bottle of water and that should tide you over until we get home at 3:30. Then we can eat a bit of bread and butter. Oooh, what’s that? Caught your interest with that statement right? Yes, we haven’t had much of that loaf of homemade bread yet. Carl hasn’t been able to chew it after getting his wisdom teeth out. Why did that stop us you ask? Well…I haven’t wanted to be unfair to him. That has nothing to do with you you say? Dearie, you and I are connected. What controls me thus controls you. Wait, it’s also the other way around? No-no please don’t growl during lecture. Please. I just have one more class to get through before we go home. Pinkie swear?

You’re such a pal.
<3,
Wesa

(P.S. I did not realize the full swear word was printed and have since made it more polite)